Silence

Talking too much exhausts the mouth.
Better to keep your thoughts within you.

silence is not of value in our culture. those who keep quiet are seen as odd, taciturn, introverts (which they may be.). keeping words within myself can be a good thing. this can stop me from saying something harmful or unkind. this lets me think before i speak.i do not wish to speak upon that which i do not know. these days i know less and less. so i speak less. i have made one day per week, thursday, a day of complete silence. i only speak to do my prayers or to speak to an elder. this is remarkably restful for both mouth and brain. i get to take a break from all the chit-chat, the talk of the monkey mind, which goes on during the course of a day. this talk i am often not even aware of. i stay away from television, music with words. i spend my time listening to the world around me. what i can hear is wonderful.i hear the birds singing. i hear the shout of children playing. i hear the rain again the windows or the wind blowing through the trees. and sometimes, esp. when it is snowing, i hear...silence.

relinguishing control

the student of Tao loses something day-by-day
   by continually losing,
   one reaches doing nothing
she who conquers the world often does so by doing nothing

in this day, doing nothing is extremely difficult for me. i used to start the day with my long to-do list. i would check off each item as it were done and feel a sense of accomplishment. i had DONE something! really, though, what had i done, other than check something off on a list? would the day have flowed any less smoothly had i not checked off items on my list? no, but i felt in CONTROL.
who was in control? i or the list? the list was! i had dedicated my day to following its dictates.now i am trying an experiment. other than a few things which MUST be done due to health matters, i don't have lists. i let the day tell me where it wants me to go. i relinquish control to the flow of Tao. if i awaken and my body says to sleep more, i sleep more. if i have energy and can speak, i go do my chanting. if i cannot speak just then, i go do yoga nidra. sometimes i just lay there and do nothing.
doing nothing comes to me in baby steps. sometimes i cannot do it at all. i jump out of bed, say i HAVE to do this, this, and this. often i find that this, this, and this does not get done. Tao has other movements that i slip  into, like letting myself slide into a current in the water. i have gotten better at recognizing THIS as a dictator and removing myself from its chains. i slow down my speed, check my tension spots. relax my shoulders, my jaw, my knees. remember to breathe. that all i have to do today is to breathe, eat, BE.

returning to the Wu-Chi

she who is conscious of the white
but keeps to the black
   becomes the model for the world
being the model for the world
she has the power which never errs
   and returns again to the Wu-Chi
to enter the nameless gate and return again to the Wu-Chi. to simplify my life so that there are no non-necessary distractions. to get my life-cycle back. to take advantage of the bright and keep to the dark. to write from my heart and know my intellect also. to let my knowledge go.
the simplification will involve several steps. the first i am doing is greatly reducing the amount of words i speak. 
she who speaks does not know
she who knows does not speak
i do not think i know. but my silence will at least not weary my mouth and the ears of others.